So today I continue on my Proverbs 31 journey. This is such an exciting process for me. Like many thrilling things that happen in my life, I get filled with enthusiasm and energy, yearning to run ahead. I constantly hear God telling me to slow down. Don’t rush He says. Be patient. Enjoy the discoveries which are found along the way.
If you look at my archives you will find a very inconsistent history of posts. It’s true, I’m guilty. I go through fits and spurts of getting started, and stopping. My reasoning is two fold. One, I’m going through writing with no goal in mind trying to occasionally pull something out of nothing. This path is very feelings oriented. Two, I set an extremely unrealistic goal for myself which I quickly find I can not live up to. Writing then becomes a dread because I feel as if I am failing to meet the expectation that I myself set in the first place.
So after much prayer in May, I decided to set a goal of writing on Tuesdays and Thursdays. So far, so good. It’s a nice steady pace. Slow and steady wins the race right? What God is teaching me is so exciting! I want to rush ahead to take in as much as I can as fast as I can. I want to live it out. I want to share it all. But, experience has definitely taught me that burnout shall follow frantic rushing.
You know what’s great about God’s love? No matter what my pace, I always have His grace. Yes, we’re back to God again. It’s all about Him.
God + me = Proverbs 31 shall I be
It’s not about our unrealistic goals or our lack of setting expectations for ourselves. It’s about coming to God, learning from Him, being loved by Him and loving Him back with all we have. Let’s experience His love through His words, which is His wisdom for us.
“Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.” Proverbs 31:11 NIV
“Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it.” Proverbs 31:11 Message
“Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life.” Proverbs 31:11 NLT
Isn’t it crazy to think that the second verse we break apart about a noble wife talks about her husband. He has full confidence and trust in her. He lacks nothing of value. He has no reason to regret trusting her. She greatly enriches his life.
Oh how I would long for these words of love and affirmation to come from my husband. Oops, there I go again taking my eyes off of God. God knows how much we as women long to hear them. Out of all the things God choose to inspire as words to put into the Bible, He chose to tell us that a wife is a gift to her husband. God gave us to them to enrich their lives and add value to it.
What an amazing and precious gift is the trust of a husband; one we must honor and respect. God made us care takers and nurturers. One of the things He wants us to care for is their trust.
Ephesians 5:22 (NIV) says, “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the LORD”. It goes on in verse 24 to say, “wives should submit to their husbands in everything”. Wow! We should trust our husbands as we trust the LORD. What I take away from this is that first, I have to learn to really trust the Lord. Then I have to do the same for my husband.
Let’s look at what God says about trusting.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” Proverbs 3:5
“In the same way, the women are to be worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything.” 1 Timothy 3:11
“She obeys no one, she accepts no correction. She does not trust in the LORD, she does not draw near to her God.” Zephaniah 3:12
Trust with all my heart. Don’t lean upon my own understanding. Don’t gossip or over speak. Obey. Accept correction. Draw near to God.
Trusting God isn’t easy, is it? I have to let go of my thoughts, my feelings, my plans, my desires and let God have control. There’s that “c” word. Control. Trust God means He’s in control. Not just of somethings, but OF EVERYTHING. God’s got you. God’s got me. God’s even big enough to handle ALL of our circumstances. He desires that we recognize, acknowledge and worship Him for it.
Now what does trusting our husbands look like. Does it mean we are their slaves and must obey their every demand in the way it’s portrayed by the world. No, trusting our husbands means that we show them our love by respecting them and honoring them before ourselves. It means we’ve got to give up the control we want to have.
From the big things to the little things I have struggled with trusting my husband. My husband, Eric is an amazing man. He is patient and kind. He is very loving, yet strong. He is marvelous with understanding how things work (and how to fix them when I break something). If asked if I trusted him, I would say, “yes, of course I do!”
But, my actions have spoken louder than words. How hesitant was I as a mother to leave my husband alone with our children as babies for the first time? That doesn’t really say “I trust you”. There are so many times that my husband offered to help with house work or setting up for company. I declined the help because I wanted to make sure it was done to my standard. Yikes! That didn’t show trust either. A list of specific instructions regarding dinner or errands or kids activities. For a husband that must be received as a message that I don’t trust you to do the smallest things.
Don’t get me wrong, there’s a lot of information to be shared to keep a household running. We’ve got to be careful about how we share it and our motivation behind it. Our husbands are the head of the homes. We have to trust that God’s got them and loves them more than we do.
When this scares me I need to take it to God. When I worry and have the urge to step into that household leadership role, back to God I must go. I’ve got to get on my knees in prayer. The first thing I should do when I’m concerned about my husband leading our family is lift him and his role up to God.
I want to be in the place in our family that God wants me to be in. I desire to trust God with all my heart. In doing that I want to trust my husband in the big decisions and the small.
God, we need your help as wives and as women. Help us to grow in our ability to trust You. In the process help us to live out that trust with our husbands. Lord, You have made them strong, but have also given them much responsibility. Please be drawing them near to You and working in their lives.
Please help us to respect and honor the trust they give us. May our coming to You and loving You enrich our husbands’ lives in ways that are too great for us to imagine. Thank you God for being completely trustworthy and in total control.