Love letter to the hurting

My dear and beloved Friend,

My heart goes out to you today.  I felt a deep longing in my soul to reach to you, an ache that is bringing me to tears.  I sense that you are going through a time of struggle.  I imagine that you are feeling a great pain, a burdening weight of sorrow.  So these feelings prompt me to open my arms and my heart onto you.  I pour forth the faith that I have to connect with you.

There are so many sorrows that we experience in life.  Rejection.  Abandonment.  Criticism.  Neglect.  Abuse.  Betrayal.  Disappointment.  Grief.  Pain.  Desperation.  Darkness.  Fatigue.  Injury.  Persecution.  Deception.

Sometimes they come one by one.  At other times, it feels as though they come in multiples or with the force of an overwhelming army on the attack.

I, too, have been there.  I have experienced those times of darkness.  I have walked through the empty pit of obscurity feeling cold, abandoned and alone.  I have wept rivers of tears.  I have taken my identity from those evil things that I have done and the things others said about me.  I have turned my own mind upon myself, delivering blow after blow of negative thought.

I tell myself these things:

“You can not do anything right.”

“You are an idiot, a moron and an imbecile.”

“You are ugly and despicable.”

“You are a complete failure.  Look at all that you have done wrong today.  Look at all of the things you have not gotten to on your list yet.  When you do, you will fail at those to.”

“What kind of wife and mother are you.  Look at your house.  It’s a mess.  Dishes in the sink and on the counter.  Finger prints on the mirror.  Where’s the meal for your family?  Is it going to come from a box again?”

It’s about at this point when I stop looking at me and then start looking at others.

“See how she keeps a tidy home and how peaceful that feels.  Your house is a place of chaos.”

“See how she can balance so much more than you.  Look at how well she does at work and in the community.”

“See how active her kids are.  She runs everywhere with them yet still has time to look as though she’s ready to take on a beauty pageant at any time.”

My dearest Friend, if you are thinking any of these things I can relate.  These are not thoughts that I have only observed, they were in my own mind.

These are YUCKY, YUCKY LIES!  Each and every single one of them.  Disturbing lies that we buy into and tell ourselves.  Each one of which keeps us from experiencing from living an abundant life that we were purposed for.

We need to break these lies with sledge hammers.  Crush them into bits.  Suck them up with the shop vac and throw them out.

Then we need to bring in some truth.  Truth that will withstand the tests of time and the trials of life.

My beautiful and treasure Friend, this is the heart of my letter.  I am so passionate about the message that is going to come next because I have been there.  There have been blessed friends in my life who have helped me bring the hammer down on the lies I was living in.  They extended their faith to me.  It is my hope that I can do the same for you, paying forward what I have been given.

First I have to tell you that my hope comes from the Lord.

Believe me, I have tried elsewhere for hope.  Relationships, food, achievement, worldly success, possessions, self-help books and body image; I’ve tried it.  Still it never filled the void.

I also want to share that I did not just wake up one day and have a clean mind & heart absent of all lies.  It’s been an ongoing tedious process.  Like the dust on my shelves and streaks on my windows I don’t always notice they are creeping back in until the light hits it just right.

I can tell you that it’s not easy to let others into this mess.  But, do you know what I have discovered?  Those that you are willing to let in, they probably offered to help because they are familiar with the ugliness too.  They’ve experienced the dust and grime of life.  They may even have some new tricks to help you manage your dust.

In all honesty, once we realize that we can smash these lies with the sledgehammer of truth there comes a real joy for doing it and a growing confidence that we can help others experience this joy.  Then we start to keep our sledgehammers handy just in case we get the opportunity to use them.

Pick up your proverbial sledgehammer my dearest Friend and let’s smash some lies with the Truth!

I am complete in Christ.  “and in Christ you have been brought to fullness.” Colossians 2:10

I am rescued.  I am part of the Kingdom.  I have been redeemed.  I am forgiven.  “For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.” Colossians 1:13-14

I am a part of the body of Christ.  “Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.” 1 Corinthians 12:27

I am united with the LORD.  “But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit.” 1 Corinthians 6:17

I am a friend of Jesus.  “I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.” John 15:15

I am a child of God.  “Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God” John 1:12

God has started a good work in me and I am confident that Christ will complete me.  “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6

I do not have a spirit of fear but of power, love and discipline.  “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.”  2 Timothy 1:7

Oh I am having such fun smashing lies with truths.  My Friend are you getting tired of swinging your sledge hammer?  It can be awkward and tedious at first.  Believe me I understand.  When I first started, I could barely get one good swing.  My spiritual muscles were weak.

If this is too much, start with one.  Take one of these verses from the Bible, or find a different one.  Hold on to that promise.  Write it on a note card.  Put it on sticky notes all over your house.  Ask a friend to text message you the verse at random times of their choosing.

Each time you read it will be like one swing of the sledge hammer.  It will crack the lie.  It may not shatter it but it will definitely do some damage.  You may not even see the damage but it’s there.

Let me close with this my dearest Friend.  I LOVE YOU!  I love you when you are all fancy in your best dress and I love you in when we’re in our ripped jeans & worn out t-shirts.  Either way you are always beautiful to me.  You are my treasured friend.  I cherish you.  Jesus is so in love with you.  My love for you just pales in comparison, but I will continue to offer it up to you.

Here is a prayer for you my dearest friend.

Beloved and Cherished LORD,

Oh how I lift up to You today my dearest Friend.  Lord, please take her in Your arms.  Hug her so that she may feel Your presence and Your protection.  Show her that You are the perfect strength to drive out all fears and all lies.  

She may think all of the talk of sledgehammers is silly but You came to earth as a carpenter’s son, I’m pretty confident that You know how to swing a hammer better than any of us.  I’d also like to believe that because laughter is good it comes from You, the source of all goodness. 

Please Lord, find favor upon my Friend.  Fill all of her voids with Your love, compassion and mercy.  I know she is so much more dear to You than I can imagine.  That’s why I place her in Your hands.  Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to love her too!  It’s such a blessing!

In Jesus’ name, amen.


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